Being intentional. I’m not talking about making sure to say I love you every day or telling them that they’re attractive. Yeah those things are important and they go a long way, but there’s a different kind of intentional.
This kind of intentional can save your romance with your boyfriend or husband. It goes beyond the simple and thoughtful tasks. It strikes at the very heart of knowing someone and how you can make them feel loved and heard. And it also helps bring back the romance.
So here are some ways to be this kind of intentional and how it can benefit your life and your romance.
Listen Up and Take Notes.
So you probably already know that yes, listening is a big thing in a relationship. It makes the person feel important. But I want to take it one step further.
When I first started dating my now husband, I had no idea of how intentional of a man he could be. Because let’s be honest, a lot of the time, women are given the wrongful image of men being thoughtless or bad listeners. And yes, there are men out there like that, just as there are women out there like that. We’re both human so we make the exact same mistakes.
But I will never forget one incident that made me feel so loved and heard.
It was August and our relationship was still very fresh. I posted on Facebook playfully that if someone wanted to get me an Iron Man cake for my birthday (yes, I’m a bit of a nerd), I would be so happy. Well he saw that and around five months later, he had specially ordered an Iron Man cake for my birthday.
I remember vaguely having had the subject being brought up in our conversations. He had seen the post and we quickly talked about it. Then in January, he actually surprised me and made a dream of mine come true. This wasn’t the only incident, in fact, he was intentional to hear what I wanted all throughout our relationship and surprise me with what I hadn’t thought of in weeks or even months.
The first thing he was doing was listening, and the second was being intentional to remember and fulfill a dream of mine. You shouldn’t just listen with the small things or what you deem as important. You need to remember their interests and dreams and take into account how you can bless them and knock the socks off of them.
It really makes them think about how they would probably never find this kind of attribute or intentionality with anyone else. Being intentional in the way of letting someone know that you appreciate them or that you’re proud of them is very important. You should take them into account when learning to be in a relationship or being a better partner. But romancing them and surprising them exactly with the things they want or need is going to a whole different level of intentionality.
So what other ways can you apply this?
Well let’s say your partner or spouse really likes sushi and they express interest in a certain Japanese restaurant. You may not have the time or money to do it right then, but you can still take note of it and remember to do it sometime in the future. It’s a great way to get out and romance, but also have them feel heard and important. Also… I may or may not have taken that from a real life experience with my husband. Just saying, I’ve learned a lot from this relationship.
If these tip was helpful and you learned something new, let me know! However, if it didn’t provide value and you still have questions or were looking for something different, email me or let me know in the comments below! I’d love to hear you out and help.