How to Get Your Personality Back (This Month)

There’s a very specific kind of tired that doesn’t come from working too hard, but from feeling like you haven’t been yourself in a long time.

You still function.

You still show up.

You still get things done.

But if a good friend were to ask you what fascinated you right now (like what you’re curious about, what you’ve been thinking about, what you’re building, exploring, learning, trying, etc.), you’d probably just give them blank stare.

That small pause is your check engine light, but it also means you haven’t lost your personality, it’s just currently under-expressed. So for instance:

• You scroll way more than you create.
• You consume a lot more than you explore.
• You always optimize more than you play.

Slowly, and without any drama at all, you start feeling flat. And if you wanna feel like yourself again, you don’t need a total “re-brand,” you just need reactivation.

So here’s how you can do it in 30 days.

But First, Why You’ve Gotten Out of Touch With Your Personality

Before you start fixing it, you need to name it.

You might be losing touch with your personality if:

• You describe yourself almost entirely by one role (job, relationship, parent) instead of traits.
• You consume a lot more than you create.
• You rewatch the same shows instead of trying something new.
• You can’t name anything you’re currently really excited about.
• You feel bored even when you’ve been super “busy.”
• You feel kind of performative in your own life.

If any of this hits home, then just know that this doesn’t mean you’re broken, it only means your identity is lying under piles of other people’s ideas, feelings, and aesthetics.

Modern life makes it so easy to become efficient, but it does not make it easy to remain expressive. So you’re gonna build that back deliberately.

The 30-Day Personality Reset

I’m going to divide this into four weeks. Each week has a theme and each theme has small, doable actions that aren’t anything dramatic, but will create a consistent reactivation.

Week 1: Unpause What’s Already There

Your personality is currently on pause.

You kept pressing play and watching other people’s videos with their own profound realizations, tea spilling, product finds, and random stories. So now it’s time to stop the noise and press play on who you really are.

Day 1: Do a Digital Audit

For just one full day, track:

• How many hours you scrolled.
• What kind of content you consumed.
• How you felt afterward.
• Whether what consumed shaped your behaviors or thoughts in anyway.

Then ask yourself:
Did any of this reflect the person I want to be?

This isn’t meant to shame you, I just want you to create some awareness of what you’re taking in.

You can’t reclaim yourself when you’re drowning in other people’s identities.

Day 2: Identity Inventory

Now I want you to write out two lists:

List A:
10 words you would have used to describe yourself at age 15 or 16.

List B:
10 words you’d use today.

Once you have those two lists, read them over and circle what’s disappeared.

Those are gonna be your clues.

Day 3: The Childhood Clue Exercise

Answer all of these questions honestly:

• What really absorbed me as a child?
• What did I beg my parents to do?
• What things or activities made me lose track of time?
• What did I do without worrying if I was even “good” at it?

Children normally follow enjoyment before judgment, but adulthood is usually when that gets reversed.

And somewhere in those old interests is a piece of you waiting.

Days 4–7: Reintroduce a Micro-Version

This isn’t a full comeback or a re-band, but you will be doing a micro-version of something you once loved.

If you loved drawing, then sketch for just 10 minutes.
Loved reading? Read one chapter before bed.
Did you love dancing? Dance to one song in your kitchen as you cook.

These all need to be tiny, daily, non-negotiable actions that help awaken what’s already there.

Oh and remember, the goal isn’t excellence but consistency.

Week 2: Autopilot Interruption

There’s research showing that new and interesting experiences strengthens memory, give you a dopamine release, and even help your brain plasticity. Basically, your brain is wired for newness and when everything feels repetitive, everything feels a lot smaller.

So this week is about expanding again.

The 7-Day Autopilot Interruption Challenge

Each day, do one of the following:

• Take a new route somewhere.
• Try a new food.
• Visit a new physical location (library, cafe, park).
• Watch something outside your normal algorithm.
• Start a conversation you normally wouldn’t.
• Change up your workspace.
• Attend something live (even if it’s small).

Then, after you do the action each day, write:
How did I feel before? How did I feel afterwards?

Novel actions help to remind you that you’re adaptable. And when you remember this, this will help to restore confidence which in turn will restore identity.

Week 3: Build an Identity Portfolio

In finance, being leveraged means you’re using borrowed money to expand your position.

So if things go well, then you win bigger.
And if things go badly, you lose bigger.

It increases volatility and you don’t need that which means you need to get rid of your emotional leverage.

So if your emotional stability is heavily dependent on one area of your life (example: your career, your productivity, a relationship, etc.) then you’re emotionally leveraged.

When that one thing is threatened, your self-worth goes down. So this week, you’re going to diversify by choosing one small thing you can do from the categories below:

• Physical skill (learn a stretch, improve a lift, take a class)
• Intellectual curiosity (read a biography, study a topic)
• Creative expression (paint, write, cook through a cookbook)
• Social expansion (host something, reconnect with someone)
• Fun (watch a foreign film, read poetry out loud, practice sketching objects around your home)

Pick just one and commit to 20 minutes a day for 7 days.

This isn’t about productivity, I just want you to start experimenting and expanding until you don’t feel like everything is hinging on you being the perfect [fill in blank].

People with higher self-complexity (meaning they have multiple active identity threads) are more emotionally resilient.

Translation: More lanes = less collapse.

Week 4: Rebuild Your Narrative

We understand ourselves through story, and if you don’t actively tell your story, your phone will tell it for you.

So this week is about reflection and doing the journaling prompts below:

• When did I feel most like myself this month?
• What surprised me?
• When did I feel performative?
• What drained me?
• What energized me?

You’re gonna be looking for patterns and seeing yourself as the specimen and the scientist.

A Simple Daily Tracker You Can Use

Every day, ask yourself:

• Did I create something?
• Did I explore something?
• Did I connect with someone?
• Did I move my body?
• Did I take time to reflect?

You don’t have to check all five off, but if you check none, then you can see it as a check engine light that you’re allowing yourself to drift.

Borrow Perspectives

When you start to feel disconnected, instead of asking “Who am I?” when you feel disconnected, try asking people who love you:

• When do I really seem the most like myself?
• What’s something I do that feels pretty effortless to you?
• What kind of energy do I normally bring into a room?
• What are some times when you saw me light up?
• What are some differences with me now vs. when I was a kid?

When you’re feeling unsure of who you really are, ask the people who’ve known you longest.

They often remember traits and patterns you’ve normalized or just forgotten. Close relationships can act as mirrors because they’re not distorted by your current mood, but shaped by years of observation.

And remember, identity isn’t formed in isolation. The people closest to you hold the pieces of your story that you can’t always see clearly in yourself.

In Closing, The Real Problem & Your Solution

The reason why you don’t feel like yourself is because you’re consuming a lot more than you’re creating. That phrase, “You are what you eat” applies digitally too.

If you spend hours every day ingesting other people’s opinions, aesthetics, humor, and ambitions, then your edges are gonna blur. But…

• Creation sharpens you.
• Exploration stretches you.
• Reflection centers you.
• Diversification stabilizes you.

Do that for 30 days. You won’t be reinvented, but you will feel recognizable again.

And that will always be enough. ♥️

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