Finding the right first date questions can be so awkward. I mean, meeting up with a person for the first time isn’t always fun. It can be, but then you have to overcome that overwhelming thought of, “What if this gets weird or they don’t like me?” And when it comes to first date conversations, you wanna make a good first impression and you really don’t want there to be long silences.
That’s why having a few genuinely good first date convo ideas in your back pocket makes such a difference. But the problem is that a lot of the “first date questions” floating around online are pretty bad.
I get so tired of hearing icebreaker questions that make me think, “That’s so weird, who would ask that?” Or, “I would have to be a middle schooler to start a conversation like that.” And if you don’t want to be concerned with the idea that they might ghost you, then having a useful list of the best questions to ask on a first date is gonna help things feel a lot more comfortable.
This conversation inspo will help steer you away from awkward silences or even launching into an interview-style date where you’re firing off a list of questions.
So let’s get rid of that anxiety and help make your first date a success!
(Getting ready to ask that special someone out on a first date? Here are some smooth pick up lines that might just put a smile on their face.)
In This Article:
- Questions for the Beginning of the Date
- First Date Questions for Dreams & Passions
- First Date Questions About Friends & Family
- Questions About Hobbies and Interests
- First Date Questions About Childhood
- First Date Questions About Accomplishments
- Personal Opinion First Date Questions
- Travels & Experiences First Date Questions
- Learning More About Them Questions for a First Date
Questions to Ask Someone on a First Date
Whether you want to go deep or you’re excited to get to know about their passions and interests, these first date topics will give you the help you need. So create a list of the questions you’d like to ask on your first date and see how things go!
Questions for the Beginning of the Date
1. “Hey, how has your day been? Anything interesting happen?” I feel like this is a very easy going way to start a conversation if you’ve both just met up. You’re making it about them (which is great) and giving them the opportunity to relax and get rid of any nerves they might have. Oh, and if something interesting did happen, then this is the time for follow-up questions!
2. “So tell me, what are you looking for right now?” I’m not saying you have to ask this right away, but I feel that it’s one of the most important questions on a first date. It could be that you’re both not right for each other and it would be good to know that early on.
3. “What made you take an interest in my profile?” Make sure to let them know that they’re not pressured to give a specific answer, you’re just genuinely curious! Was it something about your appearance, interests, job, or a hobby? It’s a great way to get a little bit of insight into the other person.
Side Note: Here’s the tea on some of the worst first date stories I’ve ever read.
First Date Questions for Dreams & Passions
4. “Are you working towards any big or small goals right now?” Whether it’s a project or even a financial goal, this is a great conversation starter on a first date. You’re getting to know what drives them, what kind of ambitions and dreams they have, and then you can of course follow it up with more questions.
5. “What’s Your Dream Job?” I think this is a great first date question to ask if they’re in a spot in their lives where they’d like to move away from their current job. It gets them thinking and shows that you’re actually interested in what they want for their future.
6. “Is there anything you’re really passionate about?“
Follow up question: “Could you tell me more about {insert passion}?”
Almost everyone has something they’re really passionate about, so you can’t go wrong with this question. Take an interest in what they’re passionate about, see if it interests you, and get to know them better.
First Date Questions About Friends & Family
7. “I’d love to hear all about your family. What are they like?“
Follow up question: If they mentioned someone that they’re especially close to, you can ask, “Tell me more about {insert family member}.”
People love talking about someone they’re close to. It doesn’t matter if it’s their sister, their kids, or their grandmother, it’s just a great way to get people to open up, feel good, and have fun.
8. “Among your friends, what are you best known for?” It’s a simple question but it gets them thinking! It’s easy to talk about yourself and who you think you are. But when it comes to what others think about you, it makes you a lot more thoughtful.
9. “If you could go on trip with anyone right now, who would you go with and where?“This is a great way to see what kind of friends they have, what kind of experiences they want to have, and what their friendship network is like.
10. “Tell me about your friends. What are they like?“
Follow up question: “How did you guys meet?”
This is such a great question to ask because it shows them that you genuinely care about them and their personal life. Also, you get to see the kind of people they let into their life.
Questions About Hobbies and Interests
11. “What kind of hobbies or interests do you have?“
Follow up question: Could you tell me more about {insert hobby/interest}?
Everyone has hobbies and interests, and I think it’s ok to encourage them to share even if they think it might be insignificant or silly. Also, if you both have the same hobbies and interests, then this is another great places to take the conversation as well.
12. “So what do you like to read or listen to lately?“
Follow up question 1: If it’s a book, you can then ask, “Tell me more about it! I’d love to hear.”
Follow up question 2: If it’s a podcast, Youtube channel, or something similar, you can then ask, “Oh interesting, what kind of topics do they discuss?”
13. “What’s something you’re learning right now or want to learn?” I promise you, this one is so interesting. You have no idea how many times my significant other has told me about the things he’s wanted to learn or improve in. This kind of first date question helps you know more about their interests and what kind of life direction they potentially wanna take.
14. “What’s something you want to do or try, but you’re a bit nervous to start?” Honestly, the answers for this question could be anything. They could say paragliding, starting an online business full-time, getting their masters. or actually putting their art online and building a following.
15. “What’s your favorite type of genre for movies, music, and books?” This one is IMPORTANT. I remember talking to this guy on Facebook years ago. I was kind of interested in him and when I asked the very sage question, “What kind of movies are you into?” He answered, horror. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t do it.
16. “If you didn’t have to work to support yourself, what would you do with your time?” This is the kind of life we ALL want. Also, it’s a fun first date question to ask! It helps them to open up and talk about something they haven’t processed before. Or maybe they have and they have a lot to share!
17. “What hobbies would you get into if you had the time and money?“
Follow up question: What do you like about {insert hobby}?
Having the right amount of time and money to go after anything is always an interesting question. Also, they might be shared interests and this could spark some good conversation. 🤷♀️
18. “What do you like to do in your free time?” It’s a very easy and simple question, and it helps the conversation flow a bit better. Also, you can see if they’re the kind of person you’d like to spend time with.
19. “What are some obscure things that you are (or were) really into? I love learning about all the tiny personal details. And this question is great for showing you the kind of person they used to be or the person they are now! They’re fun details to know and they might have the exact same obscure interests that you have.
20. “Who is your favorite author?” Remember how I said it was important to ask someone what their favorite movie/music/book genre was? It’s the same for this question. While it can be interesting to learn about a new author, or find that you both share a favorite writer, it helps you to see what kind of things they’re actually into.
21. “What was the last book you really got into?“
Follow up question: “Tell more more about the book, what’s the plot?”
This is a fun question for a first date and you get to see what excites them. What was it about that book that really got them hooked? And maybe you might like it too. Who knows!
First Date Questions About Childhood
22. “So where did you grow up?“
Follow up question 1: If they said a hometown that’s different than where you’re both living right now, you can ask, “Tell me more about your hometown. What was it like growing up there?”
Follow up question 2: If they said a hometown that’s the same as where you’re both living right now, you can ask, “How do you feel about growing up in {insert town or city name}? What was your experience like?”
23. “Do you still keep in touch with childhood friends?” It can be fun to learn more about a person’s life and their memories. You get to know more about their past and the kind of people that shaped them.
24. “What did you want to be when you were growing up?” This first date question helps you to see what they were like when they were a kid (were you guys similar?), and how their interests have changed (or stayed the same) over the years. Also, if they’re actually pursuing what they wanted to do as a child, then this can spawn so much more great conversation.
25. “What were you like when you were a kid?” With this question, you’re showing them that you want to learn more about them, not just talk about yourself. Also, it can be fun to learn about their past, what their childhood was like, and how they’ve changed as they’ve gotten older.
First Date Questions About Accomplishments
26. “What are some cool things you’re proud of?” You probably have plenty of moments and accomplishments that you’re proud of, and it can feel so good when someone takes a real interest in you and sees what you’ve done. So you wanna give that same energy back. Also, it helps you see if this is someone who has, or has tried to, accomplish things in their life.
27. “What are some things you’ve achieved over the last year?” Whether it’s something big or small, it’s a great way to hear about what they’re proud of. And you get to see what they’re doing with their life, their passions, and what they’re focused on. Also, are they currently trying to better themselves and not just holding onto achievements from 7 years ago?
Personal Opinion First Date Questions
28. “What are some things everyone should try at least once?” Another great first date question that shows you what what they’re into, and then you can ask them more about it. What makes this hobby, or interest, important or exciting?
29. “What fad did you never understand?” You’ve probably been there many times. You see a clothing style, a hairstyle, or a music trend, and then think, “I don’t get it.” And chances are, they’ve been there too.
Travels & Experiences First Date Questions
30. “So what are some places you’d like to travel to in the next year or so?“
Follow up question: “Tell me about it? What would you do there?”
People love talking about travel, it’s a given. But again, you’re also getting to see what kind of person they are. So are they more adventurous or more laid back? Both are fine, but I think it’s interesting and good to know.
31. “Where have you traveled to before?”
Follow up question 1: “What stories do you have from when you visited {insert location}?”
Follow up question 2: “How did you like {insert location}?”
Follow up question 3: “What would you do differently if you went back?
32. “If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you go?“
Follow up question: Tell me more! Why that location and why right now?
A super simple question, but it’s fun to see what travel location pops up in their head first.
33. “So what’s the best thing that’s happened to you this year?” If you’re talking about what’s been going on in your lives, then I honestly think this question makes a lot of sense. You get to see what they’ve been up to, what their life is like, and it’s just kind of a fun question!
34. “What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?” Hearing fun stories about other people’s crazy experiences will never get old. You get to hear about a 2 AM trip with friends, a crazy last minute experience while visiting another country, or even something they did to help another person.
35. “What amazing adventures have you been on?“
Follow up question: What was the craziest part of that adventure?
Whether they’ve traveled to another country or not, this is a great one to ask. You’re getting them to open up a bit more and keeping the conversation light and fun.
36. “What’s your favorite international food?“
Follow up question: “What’s a dish you think I should to try?”
Trying different cuisines, like Greek or Thai, can be very fun (and tasty). And this question helps you to see what they’ve experienced, if you both have similar taste in food, or if they’re someone who’s up for trying new things.
37. “What would the perfect vacation look like?” Now that you know where they’d like to visit, this is a great question for understanding what that trip would look like. Also, this question helps you see if you both like to travel in the same way and what kind of travel activities they like doing.
38. “What’s Your Favorite Place on Earth?” Whether it’s in Japan or the city right next door, you get to know a bit more about them. It helps you to see what makes them excited and happy in life, and you get to know more about their personal life experiences.
39. “What’s your favorite memory?” I love questions like this. It shows your date that you actually care about them as a person and take a real interest in their life. Also, you could make it specific to the conversation. So for example, it could ask something like, “What’s your favorite travel memory?” Or, “What’s your favorite memory with {insert friend name}?”
Learning More About Them Questions for a First Date
40. “So what are some of your pet peeves, or things that frustrate you?” Ok, this one feels a little random if it’s not done in the right context, but I think it’s important to know. You get to see what makes them tick, the kind of people that frustrate them, their personality type (and if it is or isn’t compatible with yours, andow forgiving of a person they are. Also, it can just be interesting. 😂
41. “What’s one of the most embarrassing things that’s happened to you?” This is a great place for humor on your first date, to open up about your own embarrassing times, and talk about what you would have done (or felt) in their exact same situation.
42. “Do you have any pets?“
Follow up question 1: “Can I see photos?”
Follow up question 2: “What’s it like to raise a {insert breed name if they have a specific breed}?”
Besides getting them to open up about another cool part of their life, this question is also great to know if they have a certain type of pet that you’re not crazy about. Sounds petty, but some people own certain animals that aren’t always safe around children (as an example). Or they might have a pet that makes you feel uncomfortable… like snakes. Who knows! 🤷♀️
43. “So what kind of work do you do?“
Follow up questions 1: “What all does a {insert job position} do?”
Follow up questions 2: “How do you feel about your work position (and/or workspace)?”
Each of these questions not only makes the potential for a good conversation, but also helps you to see what kind of person they are. So are they ambitious? Do they have a good mindset about things? Do they complain a lot?
44. “What’s something about you that would surprise me?” Ok, I’m gonna be honest, this one is a bit cheesy. Sew me. But I think it’s still worth it! I feel like this first date question makes the other person think, and you might get to know something about your date that a lot of others don’t. 🤷♀️
45. “What’s the worst pickup line you’ve ever heard or given yourself? First dates need humor! Things are already stressful enough, so questions like this are necessary.
46. “Who is the most fascinating person you’ve met?” You never know what kind of people they’ve met. They could be famous, and even if they’re not, you might also find this person extremely fascinating. You get to hear their story and be inspired yourself. Also, it helps the conversation to go much deeper than the surface level questions you might have been asking.
Side Note About Going Deeper in Conversations: I think it’s important to realize that before you go on this date, people take more of an interest in you than you think. In a study, it was shown that people actually enjoyed having deeper conversations with complete strangers. They had less awkwardness and better experiences when they were given deeper questions (as opposed to the group who had small talk questions).
47. “Who’s been the most influential person in your life?“
Follow up question 1: “How did you guys meet?”
Follow up question 2: “What other ways has this person changed or shaped you in X way?”
Again, if you wanna take the conversation deeper, then this is a great question to ask. You get to know how they’ve grown and developed as a person, and who’s helped get them there.
48. “Who is the kindest person you know?” This could be a family member, a really great friend, or an adult that stepped into their life when they needed it most. And then you can ask questions, and for more stories about this person.
Grace Moser is the author and founder of Chasing Foxes, where she writes articles to help women create a life they love in big and small ways. She's been a full-time traveler since 2016 and loves sharing her experiences and exploring the world with her husband, Silas. Her lifestyle and travel advice can also be seen on sites such as Business Insider, Glamour, Newsweek, Huffpost, & Apartment Therapy.