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People always tell us that the key to looking beautiful or being attractive is to have perfect makeup, hair, and outfits. But doesn’t that go without saying?
I mean, we already know that the right hairstyle, makeup, and outfit is going to make us look better, but are there other lesser-known ways to be beautiful? I feel that being attractive goes so far beyond just those three things. There are so many other factors to look at when thinking of how to be beautiful.
I’ve found that there are habits you can cultivate that will help you be seen as more attractive to other people—which is the whole point anyway, right?
These beauty tips will show you how to be beautiful and reveal why they make you beautiful when you follow them.
One of the interesting things I’ve noticed with having good posture is that as soon as you straighten your back when sitting, most other people around you will automatically do it too.
I’m not sure why that is: maybe they want to emulate a good habit or they feel strange being slumped over while you’re sitting more elegantly?
But having good posture is one of the key things you can do when learning how to be beautiful, and a 2009 study from Ohio State University even found that it can give you more confidence in your own thoughts.
Moreover, another posture-related way to be more beautiful is to unfold your arms.
Vanessa Van Edwards, over at Science of People, posits that one way to increase attractiveness is to look open and available. Among the other ways she highlights, she lists uncrossing your arms (and your legs too when sitting down) as a way to look more open, and hence more attractive.
Good posture makes you look more graceful and feel more confident. It’s definitely worth training yourself to get into the habit of having good posture! You’ll stand out in the crowd, but only in a good way.
2. Genuinely Smile
Want to know how to be beautiful naturally without even using makeup? This is how.
A 2013 study of psychologists found that “the evaluation of attractiveness is strongly influenced by the intensity of a smile expressed on a face”. And it even went on to conclude that “a happy facial expression could even compensate for relative unattractiveness.”
From my own experience, I’ve also found that a smile can be really inviting and remove any intimidation. Meeting new people can often be draining and sometimes even scary, so a genuine smile can really put other people at ease!
My tip? Practice doing a genuine-looking smile in the mirror that looks happy, sincere and not awkward or creepy. You’ll be amazed at how much more people will perceive you as beautiful—even if sub-consciously.
3. Less Talking
There always seems to be those people in a group or at a party that talk…a lot. And it can go either one of two ways. One; they’re funny and outgoing, the life of the party. Or, two; they say a whole lot of nothing and it’s exhausting just to hear them go on and on.
One of the lesser-known tips to look beautiful is to say less but say a lot.
What I mean is, when you speak, have something to say. Give people food for thought and show yourself as wise. And you know what, that’s actually what the Bible says too!
“Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” (Proverbs 17:28)
Whether you believe the Bible contains the words of God or not, there’s no denying that this ancient piece of wisdom is interesting and worth considering! Because appearing wise, knowledgeable and smart—or even just kind and funny with your words—makes you really really attractive.
Gil Greengross, anthropologist writing for Psychology Today says, “The effect of a great sense of humor on women’s attractions might be partially explained by the fact that funny people are considered to be more social and more intelligent, things that women seek in a mate.”
And I think this works vice versa too! Using your words well makes you look competent, and that just screams beauty.
Now while we’re still on the subject of talking, let’s talk about complaining because this is one of the “do not’s” when learning how to be beautiful.
Feeling frustrated about something or someone and wanting to talk about it is fine (as long as you don’t spread gossip or say something with the intention of ruining someone’s reputation). It can be very healthy to talk it over with people in a way that can help lead to practical solutions.
But don’t be that person who always finds something to complain about. You’ll be seen as a negative and/or ungrateful person. And this just ends up translating into annoying people or looking bitter. And looking bitter isn’t attractive.
Instead, learn to let go (you can’t win every battle), find ways to lift others up, lift your situation up, or find the positive things in life to talk about even when you’re stressed.
It’ll not only make you feel better, but people will naturally want to be around you. They’ll gravitate towards you because they can count on you to be uplifting. And being uplifting is one of the best things you can do when learning how to be beautiful.
Cultivate a sense of self-worth like you would a garden. Prune and look after it carefully each and every day.
Have you ever had the opportunity to show a loved one something you were proud of? Maybe it was a beautiful craft, drawing, song, or accomplishment that you just knew they’d appreciate.
You didn’t have to convince them of its worth or worry about justifying it to them. You just knew it was valuable and that they’d appreciate it.
Well, without being too cliché, that’s YOU in a nutshell.
You don’t need to prove yourself or show off (showing off is really unattractive anyway).
You can just be quietly confident that you are worth something—because you are. And having this sense of self-worth and respect is actually SO attractive. Why? Because it subconsciously communicates to others that you are valuable.
A 2009 study from the International Journal of Cosmetic Science found that a group of women judged men in video clips as being more attractive from the confidence boost they gained by wearing aerosol spray, compared to a group of men with the same average attractiveness who did not wear any aerosol in the video clips.
So, be confident! And, even if you don’t feel confident, fake it until you make it! Harvard professor Amy Cuddy found in a study that even striking a confident pose can make you feel more successful.
In short, there are always things about yourself that are uniquely beautiful (even if you can’t see it yourself yet). Sometimes it can help to ask a loved one what they like about your appearance so you can start cultivating your sense of self-worth and recognize what is beautiful about you.
6. Stay in a Group of Friends
Did you know that a 2013 study carried out by the University of California found that people tend to look more attractive in groups?
James Hamblin, the editor of the health channel over at The Atlantic explains this effect—which has sometimes been called “the Cheerleader Effect”—as having to do with our brains taking a snapshot of all the differently shaped faces in a group and “averaging them out”, thus making each face look more beautiful and proportioned.
The study also revealed that just a small group of people creates this effect, meaning you don’t even need to be that popular!
So want to know how to be more beautiful? Hang out with people you love.
7. Pay Attention and Mimic
One of the more surprising ways to be beautiful, a study has shown (and it has been found in other studies too) that discreetly mimicking a person’s body language can make you appear more beautiful.
Not only that, but I reckon it also gives off the impression that you’re a good listener and are attentive to them.
So next time you’re in a conversation, try mimicking the body language of the person you’re talking to. Just don’t be too obvious about it, because that’d be kinda annoying!
8. Dress Modestly in a Way That Compliments Your Style
Alright, so we’ve talked about what you can do psychologically to be attractive. But what about your actual appearance?
There’s no doubt about it, learning how to flatter yourself with the best hairstyle, makeup, and outfit is an essential tip for those wondering how to be more beautiful. It’s a skill you have to learn and master (search all our beauty hacks here).
But there’s a whole lot more to it than just makeup, hair, and clothes—there are attitudes and philosophies that come with it too.
Since you’ll have cultivated a sense of self-worth and be quietly confident (see tip #5), you’ll gradually begin to feel inclined to dress in a subtle way that is a positive overflow of your own sense of self-worth and which naturally communicates it to others.
And the good news is that subtlety is confident, classy, beautiful and timeless…which is why you can never go wrong with it!
Research has even found a correlation between focusing on your own body a lot and negative body image (e.g. Fredrickson and Roberts, 1997), and, when modesty is seen as a way to respect the body, a study found that “modesty emerged as a guard to protect women from some negative thinking.”
So why does subtlety work so well? In summary, it works because, first of all, it is timeless and looks great, and secondly, because it can actually help you stop focusing on your body excessively, and thirdly, because if you use it as an expression of self-respect, it can actually help protect you from negative thoughts about your body.
What does that look like for me? Well, you likely know yourself better than most, and so whatever you’ve come to appreciate about your appearance in particular, subtlely highlight that in how you dress. E.g. if you like your hair, wear it in a way that makes it more of a feature in your look but don’t go overboard with it.
And if you’re the sort of person reading this who feels they have nothing special that they like about themselves, then you seriously need to read tip #5 again!
You are enough. So use what you have—and remember, subtlety is king. (Or should I say, “Queen”!)
9. Emphasize Your Facial Symmetry
All of us have uneven faces—sorry, it’s just true!
And by that I mean the left side of our faces looks a bit different from the right: maybe our noses are slightly crooked, or our lips don’t curl out totally symmetrically, or one of our eyes is slightly bigger than the other or is slightly higher up our face than the other, etc.
A 2002 study from Stanford University found that facial symmetry is “inherently attractive to the human eye”.
Luckily for us, there are makeup tips and also massages that can help with that! Here’s are some massage tips taken from a featured video just below:
- Massage your mouth’s chewing muscles by rubbing your fingers or knuckles on them in a circular motion for 1-2 minutes per day.
- Massage the dip located underneath your ear and the edge of the jaw for 1-2 minutes per day.
- Open your mouth as wide as possible and place the palm of your hands on each cheek without pressing, repeat a few times per day.
- Place a pencil or chopstick in your mouth and hold it in place using your back teeth. If your face is asymmetrical, the pencil or chopstick will be slightly off horizontal. Adjust your jaw until it is more horizontal and then rotate your head left to right about 30 times per day.
PS. Next time you see Tom Cruise, notice how his front middle tooth is in the center of his face. You’ll never un-see this!
10. Work on Your Hair
Not everyone’s hair is the same. Simply reading the instructions on the shampoo bottle that say “lather, rinse, repeat” won’t cut it for everyone! Here are some beauty tips for those wondering how to get beautiful hair.
- If you dry your hair with a towel, don’t rub but gently squeeze (rubbing causes split ends and removes shine).
- Use a variety of brushes—e.g. Paddle brushes for detangling longer hair types, Boar-bristle brushes to make hair smoother, and Wet brushes to gently brush hair when it’s weakest when wet.
- Shampoo less, e.g. every other day. If you must use shampoo more, use dry shampoo on off-days and blow dry it out to remove excess dirt.
- If you have curly hair leave a little conditioner in after showering to help with brushing.
- Use argan oil for lusher, healthier hair (it’s also good for your skin and scalp!)
- Eat foods rich in omega-3 (e.g. salmon, sardines and egg yolks) to get shinier hair and potentially reduce hair loss (1).
- Use your blowdryer’s cold air setting to blast cold air a few times after you’ve finished drying your hair with hot air. This can increase shine.
- Consider adding shades and highlights/lowlights to your hair since it increases the appearance of shine — for home use, try Clairol Perfect 10 for Dark Brown, Ash Brown, Reddish Brown, Light Blonde, or Dark Blonde depending on your hair color.
Taking care of your skin is so important when learning how to be beautiful. It can prevent early aging, can help keep it clear, and can boost your own sense of beauty—since oils, breakouts, and unnecessary wrinkles will often lower your self-esteem.
If you want to know how to get beautiful skin, simply do things such as washing and exfoliating to generate cell turnover (reducing the appearance of wrinkles), moisturizing, taking off excess oils with a tissue blotter, and placing a mask or essential oil on your skin to help your beauty shine through.
Also, eating the right foods and drinking lots of water will give you beautiful skin as well. Here is a table that breaks down the best foods for healthy skin:
|Fatty fish e.g. mackerel, salmon, sardines||Contains omega-3 fatty acid that helps keep skin healthy (2)|
|Sweet potatoes||Contains lots of beta-Carotene that protect your skin from the sun and may also give your skin a healthy warm-orange colored tint (3)|
|Avocadoes||Contains healthy fats that are linked with suppler skin (4)|
|Chocolate (70% cocoa or higher)||Contains antioxidants that protect your skin from the sun (5) and can make it smoother (6)|
|Tomatoes||Contains all the carotenoids that help protect your skin (7) and may also reduce wrinkling (8)|
|Carrots||Contains vitamin A that helps treat and repair your skin tissue (9) and contains carotenoids that may reduce wrinkling (8)|
|Brazil nuts||Contains selenium which may slow down skin aging (10)|
12. Wear Lip Balm Overnight
To make your lips look more hydrated and healthy, apply a little bit of moisturizing lip balm to them when you go to bed. Do this each night and you’ll soon have beautiful and lush lips!
13. Apply Lotion to Your Feet and Wear Socks to Bed
Another tip for bedtime, apply foot lotion to your feet and cover them with comfy socks before you get in bed. After a while, your cracks will start to heal and your feet will become smoother.
14. Healthy Weight Loss for Your Body Type
It’s so important to learn how to love yourself and how you look before you start losing weight.
Because if you choose to lose weight and you end up having a fit body, you can still see yourself as unattractive if you don’t change your mindset. And this can sometimes even lead to body dysmorphic disorder.
But presuming you have a healthy body image, when you do choose to lose weight, there are two things you need to focus on: lifestyle change and losing weight for your specific body type.
When you change your lifestyle to a healthy one, you’re not going on a diet. Diets are just a temporary lifestyle, they’re not meant to be done for the rest of your life.
But if you eat real foods and learn how to create healthy habits, you’ll change your lifestyle to a healthier one. And that’s all apart of learning how to be beautiful.
And be realistic! Not everyone’s body type is the same, so be kind to yourself and work with what you have. That’s why I highly recommend learning about your own body type first so that you can tailor your weight loss plans so that you can work with nature, and not against it. That’s always a 100% fail-safe way to look really beautiful!
Now stress is a huge factor in your attractiveness. Worry lines will start to appear and stress generally takes a toll on your physical health which ends up being shown in your outer appearance over time.
So knowing how you can take care of your stress levels and learning how to beat them, will not only help you stop premature aging and other negative effects of stress, but it’ll also help you to be beautiful.
Plus no one appreciates a stress head, right? 😉
16. Being the Healthiest Version of Yourself
Finally, and following on from that last point about stress, learning how to be the healthiest version of yourself will just level up your looks that extra bit more.
And I mean “healthiest” for ALL areas of your life—physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.
So let’s break down my personal top 3 tips for each area on how to the healthiest you so that you can level up your attractiveness even more!
- Get enough sleep — Lack of sleep can lead to weight gain and dark circles under eyes. It can also lead to bad moods which may make you complain more (see tip #4). It’s important learning HOW to sleep. E.g. sleeping too much on your side or stomach can cause wrinkles.
- Eat well, drink lots — With an increase in anorexia these days (11), it’s super important to realize that beauty isn’t about becoming stick thin. Don’t fall into the trap of feeling guilty for eating. Enjoy your food, eat healthily and drink lots of water, listen to your body, care for and appreciate your body’s unique shape and build, don’t listen to the lies that say you need to be more like “X” or “Y” to be beautiful…but try to avoid eating too much at night since this is where most weight gain actually starts due to over-eating outside daylight hours (12).
- Exercise — Try to do around 150-300 minutes of moderate physical activity per week (13).
- Learn to be self-aware — Practice understanding why you’re feeling what you’re feeling and when you are prone to feel that way. Ask yourself these questions: “What am I feeling right now and why?” and “What specifically needs to happen and at what time to make me feel this way? Are there any patterns?”
- Learn to communicate — Don’t simply expect people to understand your emotional needs since part of maturing is realizing not everyone thinks and functions as you do. So learn to communicate your emotional needs with loved ones in a straightforward way that doesn’t come across as condescending or blaming. Be patient with them as they learn to understand you more.
- Be humble — No one owes you anything. You’re not the center of the universe. If someone is unjustly mean to you, realize its probably not even about you but is more about their own problems. You can’t change what happens to you, but you can change how you respond to it.
- Be realistic about yourself — You’re not perfect, so give yourself a break more when you see the signs of your imperfection. Be kind to yourself when you need it.
- Own up to your failures —Don’t go through life carrying guilts or self-loathing. Own up, be honest. Seek forgiveness. Then move on.
- Be honest — Be brave enough to be honest to yourself and to others. It may cause a bit more conflict in the short-term, but long-term it’ll lead to more harmonious and stress-free living.
Note: some people might find these a little bit “heavy”, but I personally find they challenge me and keep me uncomfortable enough to grow and move forward!
- Do a silent retreat — Escape the hustle and bustle of life and try doing a silent retreat where you’re not allowed to use your phone, talk, or check emails. Confront yourself in a way you’ve never been forced to before.
- Meditate on the shortness of life — You’ve only existed a very short amount of time and before you came to be, the world was carrying on without you. In a blink of an eye, you’ll pass on and the world will carry on without you again. Moreover, you’ll only be remembered by just a handful of people, who will, in turn, pass away too, and so within 100 years or so you’ll likely never be remembered again on Earth. Be grateful for life and appreciate your smallness.
- Question, then question some more, and grow — With that last point in mind, question whether is there more to your life than just the immediate here and now. Be brave enough to hunt for meaning, truth, and the answers to life’s big questions. Since we’re so small and life is so short, accept the truth openly and wholeheartedly if you should find it. Aim to become humbler each year.
All these tips will make you a more balanced and well-rounded person who is more healthy and assured of themselves—which is a beautiful thing in of itself!
While knowing how to dress and how to do your makeup is all a valuable part of learning how to be beautiful, there’s so much more that goes into it.
And whether that’s boosting your confidence with posture or learning how to have the healthiest lifestyle, you can take small steps now by following these tips and learning how to become beautiful and attractive.
Now if you have any tips on how to be beautiful on the inside or outside, let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear them!
Eres Hermosa! x
(“You’re beautiful” in Spanish)
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