Being unhappy isn’t just bad for your day to day life; it can really impact how you see the world and the people around you.
It helps you to start creating unhappy habits that build up pessimism and vicious cycles that keep you down.
And that’s why it’s so important to take action and be in control of the thoughts that enter your head. Feeling down isn’t a sin, it’s apart of being human. But when you keep repeating certain negative beliefs in your head, that’s when it becomes a problem.
Unhappy people are always looking for ways to reinforce their world views, and you don’t want to be like that. You don’t want to let life circumstances choose how you see things. You want your outlook on life to be something that’s under your control.
So if you want to learn more on what makes people unhappy, and what to avoid, then keep reading. These causes of unhappiness can really take a toll on the quality of your life.
1. They Have Toxic Friends
An unhappy person is regularly finding themselves feeling miserable and in a horrible state of mind because of who they’re around.
Their friends are almost always finding small ways to tear them down and talk behind their back.
And if you have negative friends, just know that you deserve better. You don’t need to waste another year of your life on these people.
If you’re deeply unhappy, then it’s good to cut out the people who hurt your peace and replace them with friends who build you up.
2. Complaining
It doesn’t matter if you’re meeting up for a coffee date or visiting them for the holidays, perpetually unhappy people are going to complain.
They’ll find something big to complain about, and if it’s not there, they’ll have multiple small things to be frustrated with.
Even if there are good things going on in the day, their mind will tend to dwell on the negative.
And that’s why it’s so important for you to be on the lookout for this. Try finding the good in daily life and practicing gratitude. Because if you don’t, then it’ll become easier over time to complain more often and fuel your unhappiness.
3. Comparison
Comparison is such an easy way to be unhappy. It is one of the biggest thieves of your personal joy.
Someone is always going to have something you want, and when you focus on this and build your jealousy, the more negative things will appear.
Envy will always keep you from seeing the good and beautiful in your life, and also keep you in a bad mood.
So it’s important that you find ways to be grateful for what you have so that you’re not taking way from our own happiness. Think about it, the things that you do have might be exactly what someone else has wanted for a long time.
4. They Focus on Negative Outcomes
Guilty! I’ve been here and it’s something I’m trying to grow in as well.
And people who are always unhappy have had years of practice when it comes to focusing on negative outcomes.
When an event takes place or there’s uncertainty, their mind races to the worst possible outcome. They’re almost always expecting bad things.
And if you find yourself doing this, then take some time to think through the different moments when things just worked out for you.
How many times did your worst fears end up happening? How many times have you had things work out for you?
It’s so important to take control of your thought life so you’re not continually keeping yourself down.
5. They’re Petty
It feels like they just can’t let things go.
They remind themselves of the negative things someone has done to them (knowingly or unknowingly). And then years later they’re finding ways to make someone feel small and taking their frustration out on them in some way.
And if you’re trying to figure out what makes people unhappy and what’s personally holding you back, then you can’t ignore this one.
You need to learn that it’s safe to forgive, let people be human, and let go. Not just for them, but for yourself too.
6. Blaming Others for Their Problems
Instead of looking at how they can take responsibility, they’re pointing their finger at someone else. And this is one of the worst bad habits that drives people away.
Someone else should have done their part better, they’re almost never at fault, and they’re constantly feeling like a victim.
Oh, and if they are at fault, it wasn’t really that big of a deal.
Being around this kind of person can be incredibly difficult, and it is one of most in-your-face signs of an unhappy person.
And that’s why it’s so important to stop seeing yourself as a victim. Yes, bad things can happen to you, but when you stay in that place, you’re never improving and you’re keeping yourself in a helpless state of mind.
Also, you tend to blow things out of proportion and never take responsibility when you are at fault. So make sure to be intentional with your thought life and start taking responsibility even if it feels uncomfortable.
It won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it.
7. They’re Judgmental
We all do it. Judging others can be so easy to do.
And for those who tend to be unhappy, it seems like they’re doing it a lot more often.
Being around this kind of person is incredibly difficult. You don’t know what they’re going to judge you (or others) for next. They’re always looking for the negative in other people, and they can say some very cutting remarks.
But they’re also very judgmental of themselves, whether they’d like to admit it or not.
And if you’re finding yourself being consistently judgmental of the people around you, then it’s time to take a step back. What are some of the reasons why you’re doing this? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Do you feel like it keeps you safe?
It’s good to recognize these things, take control of your mindset, and potentially get therapy for deeper wounds.
Grace Moser is the author and founder of Chasing Foxes, where she writes articles to help women create a life they love in big and small ways. She's been a full-time traveler since 2016 and loves sharing her experiences and exploring the world with her husband, Silas. Her lifestyle and travel advice can also be seen on sites such as Business Insider, Glamour, Newsweek, Huffpost, & Apartment Therapy.