71 Questions to Ask Your Partner Whether You’re Newly Dating or Years In

Entering into a potentially committed long-term relationship isn’t just about the romance. It’s also the opportunity to grow in understanding and intimacy with another human being. It’s starting and navigating a relationship journey together, and keeping yourself open to real communication and personal growth.

And when it comes to closeness and deeper intimacy, asking your partner the right questions cannot be overstated. From the first date to 10 years of marriage, the getting-to-know-you process should never really end. You want to keep communication open and make sure your significant other actually feels taken care of and seen.

But sometimes it can be hard to know what questions to ask when starting meaningful conversations and going deeper. So down below I’ve curated a thoughtful list of engaging questions you can ask your partner. They’re great whether you’re just starting out or you’ve been together for a hot minute.

So scroll, check them out, gather a list of ones that work for your relationship, and start making that bond just a bit stronger today.

In This Article:

• Important Questions to Ask When First Dating
• Best Questions to Ask Your Partner When You’ve Been Together for Awhile

Important Questions to Ask When First Dating

Just starting out is fun, but it’s also a good time to see how well you vibe together. You can keep things light, but it’s also important to carefully ask questions that’ll let you know whether you’re both worth each other’s time. So here are a few questions you can ask to see where you stand and who they are as a person.

— What does a really good weekend look like for you?

— Are you more of a planner or a “let’s just see what happens” kind of person?

— What’s something that’s pretty small that instantly makes your day better?

— Do you know your love languages?

— What’s something you’re genuinely, really excited about in your life right now?

— How do you personally handle conflict when it comes up?

— What are your relationship non-negotiables?

— What kind of date feels the most you?

— What’s a dream you haven’t told that many people about?

— Do you like spending nights out, relaxing nights in, or a bit of both?

— What’s one thing you’d like me to know about you early on?

— What’s probably the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

— When you picture a healthy relationship, what does it actually look like day to day?

— What’s something a past relationship taught you about what you want and don’t want moving forward?

— What’s something you really value and appreciate a lot in a partner?

— What’s probably the best piece of relationship advice you’ve ever gotten?

— What’s a hobby or habit you’d love to do with your significant other?

— What’s something you’re working on when it comes to self-improvement?

— How do you like to balance personal time and time together?

— What’s something that makes you feel really understood?

— What’s your favorite way to make someone feel appreciated or special?

— How do you feel about surprises? Are they fun or stressful for you?

— What kind of role does your family have in your life?

— What’s your favorite kind of adventure? So like big trips or everyday little moments?

— What’s something you really wish more people asked you about?

— What kind of lifestyle do you wanna see yourself living in the next few years?

— Do you like deeper conversations right away or just easing into things slowly?

— What’s one belief or value you hold onto really strongly no matter what?

— How do you like to celebrate your big or small milestones?

— What are some green flags you look for early on?

— What’s one thing that just makes you instantly lose interest?

— What’s your personal definition of taking things slow vs. moving too fast?

— How do you feel about trying new things like foods, places, or experiences?

— What’s something that makes you feel genuinely connected and close to someone?

— Are you religious?

Best Questions to Ask Your Partner When You’ve Been Together for Awhile

You’re married which means you’ve become one; you’re a unit and you take care of each other. But that doesn’t mean you should stop getting to know your partner. So here are a few questions to ask your spouse so you can keep dating them and check in on the relationship.

— Do you feel like I listen to you?

— What would make you feel really taken care of right now?

— What’s something (big or small) you’ve been wanting more of from us lately?

— How do you feel the most supported by me right now?

— What’s something you’ve been dreaming about for our future that you haven’t brought up yet?

— Is there a new habit or ritual you feel would make our relationship a lot stronger?

— What’s a more recent moment with me that made you feel really loved or seen?

— What’s something you’d love to do together this year that we’ve never done before?

— Is there anything that’s been weighing on you lately that you’d like me to understand better?

— What’s something you miss about us that we can bring back starting now?

— How can I show appreciation for you in a way that would actually feel meaningful to you right now?

— What’s something you’ve realized about love since we’ve been together?

— What’s a small change we could both make that would make our everyday life easier and/or better?

— What’s something you’re really proud of in our relationship?

— What do you think we handle really well together as a couple?

— What’s a new way we can make sure to prioritize fun together?

— What are some things you wish we talked about more often?

— What’s a boundary or need that’s come up recently that I didn’t know about?

— When do you really feel the closest to me?

— What’s something you’re really grateful we went through together because it actually made us stronger?

— What can I do to make your daily or weekly life feel a little lighter or easier?

— What’s one thing you’re curious to learn about me now (even after all this time)?

— Is there anything you feel that we avoid talking about but really shouldn’t?

— What’s a new experience you want us to have as a couple?

— What’s something from the early days in our relationship you’d love to recreate or revisit?

— How have your personal goals changed, and how can I support them?

— What’s something I do that never fails to make you smile every single time?

— Are there any changes you’d like to make to our long-term plans?

— What makes you feel the safest when we’re together?

— What’s a dream you have that feels kind of scary (but exciting) and how can we go after it together?

— What’s something about your inner world right now that you really wish I noticed more?

— What’s something I used to do that you really loved and want me to bring back?

— What’s a compliment you’d love to hear from me more often?

— What’s something you’d love for me to understand about you?

— What’s something you’d love to understand better about me?

— What’s one thing you hope we never lose as a couple, no matter how long we’re together?