Sometimes being single doesn’t always feel that great. Especially when you see your friends or even your ex in a new relationship and you’re wondering when your person will finally come along.
But here’s the thing, a lot of those relationships aren’t going to last. And that’s because they didn’t take time when they were single to work on themselves. They jumped into something with a lot of baggage or issues that still needed to be fixed.
Know that this is your opportunity to focus on you and what you’ll be bringing into the next relationship you’re in. Because where others fail now, you’ll be able to succeed in the future.
Work on Selfishness
Let’s face it, we’re all self-centered. But it can get a lot worse when we’re single, and without fail, carry over into a relationship. And when this happens, it can easily lead to hurt and breakups.
That’s why it’s so important to take the opportunity, whether with a friend or family member, to practice giving instead of just taking. Because a person can only give for so long until they have nothing left to hand you.
When I met my now spouse, I found out I had a lot of work to do. I had to realize that it wasn’t all about my needs and what I wanted. I had to learn how to really listen when they communicated with me about what they needed. Because if I failed to do that and went a different direction, I ended up hurting them badly.
I was told by a very wise person in my life that, “It’s not about finding the person that can make you happy for the rest of your life. It’s about finding the person you can make happy for the rest of your life.” Because when you give instead of constantly take from someone, and have their words feel respected, they’re going to want to do the same for you.
Look at What You Did
If you were in a relationship before or a failed friendship, it can be easy to point the finger at the other person and see what they did wrong. But in the end, you have to look and see what you did to contribute.
What did you say or do to them that pushed them away or hurt them? Did you say something harsh in a fight that you regretted later? Did you ignore them when they tried to communicate with you? A failed relationship is hardly ever a one man job.
So look for the ways you contributed so that history doesn’t repeat itself in the future.
Find What was Created
Many times, the things we do now weren’t always present before.
So for instance, in your last relationship, the only way you could communicate with them that you wanted something done right away was by blowing up at them immediately. And this was probably because they usually failed to follow through or ignored you.
Now this trait has carried over to family and friends or even another failed relationship. See where I’m going?
Basically, you want to find what unhealthy habits were created in your past relationship (or relationships) so that they don’t carry over to your new boyfriend or girlfriend.
Because if they end up being great listeners, but forget to carry through with something once or twice, and you blow up at them due to what you trained yourself into in the past, that could damage the relationship very quickly.
Train yourself out of what you know is unhealthy so you can give the person you’re with next a fresh start.
You know those relationships that you admire and look up to? Take note on what they do and why they’re healthy. And know that this could be your own parents, friends or their parents, and even family members
So what do you admire about them? Do they both show respect by not talking bad about each other? Are they loyal and make their spouse/partner first priority? Are they romantic and affectionate? Take note.
Look for what you want in your next relationship, and only be with someone that has these attributes or is willing to work on them to have a healthy relationship.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, look at unhealthy relationships in your life that you don’t want to emulate. See what they’re doing wrong and make sure you don’t date someone like them or do what they do in a relationship.
Avoid Wasting Time
With this last tip said, make sure you’re in check with your own mind and heart. Make sure that you’re not desperate to be in a relationship. Because when this happens, it usually leads you to wasting time being in something that was never going to work out.
The year you spent dating that one person could have been the year you met your future spouse. Know what you want, and stick to it if the person obviously doesn’t fit your criteria.
No sense in wasting your emotions on the wrong person.
So while it may be hard to be single now when everyone around you seems to be in love, think of how you can be the best person possible for your next relationship. Look at where you can grow and heal and work to give your future girlfriend or boyfriend what they deserve.
Now if this post was helpful for you, let me know! But if there was something that wasn’t covered that you need help with, tell me in the comments. I’ll be glad to hear you out and see about making a response post.