Hey everyone, this is chapter two in my Becoming Wonder Woman posts. Glad to have you be part of this!
“Fail Your Way to Success.”
Fear and failure kind of go hand in hand, and when I heard this quote from the audiobook “The One Thing,” it hit me hard.
I can remember a cold but sunny winter day in December where I was telling Silas (my husband) that I didn’t think I could become a blogger (this was before I even started).
I remember the specific words I used too, “But Silas, what if I work my hardest and do everything I can do but it still doesn’t work out and nothing comes from it?”
Looking back, that was obviously fear at work. Making me feel desperate and worry about something that didn’t even make sense (I mean, if you do your best long enough, aren’t you kind of guaranteed to see some sort of breakthrough?).
The Mountain of Success is Actually a Pile of Trash
Now a few weeks ago I was listening to Dave Ramsey (a famous financial coach) talk about how when people see the mountain of success, they picture themselves standing at the top and overlooking all the valleys (that they had overcome) and the beautiful view of a mountain range.
But in reality, that “mountain of success” is just a pile of trash.
It’s the failures and the hardships you had to overcome and climb out of to finally stand at the top and not be buried underneath.
And I felt that these two pieces of wisdom really overlapped…
When people think of failure, they think of never reaching their goals, but in reality, failure is a part of reaching your dreams.
But fear wants to make you feel otherwise.
It makes you want to believe that there’s no point in trying if you’re going to fail anyways.
But in truth, it’s how you overcome those failures that leads you to success.
When I first started blogging, I made a lot of mistakes. And while those mistakes were really frustrating and I did feel like a failure at times, I didn’t let it stop me. And now I’m able to look back, as a full-time blogger, at that tough beginning, and feel glad that I didn’t let it stop me. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I had listened to my fears and didn’t move on from my failures.
Fear would have you stop right then and there, but persistence would show you another way around and have you learn from your mistakes.
It’s Been SERIOUSLY Hard
Now as many of you guys know, these posts are me showing you what I’m trying to grow in while giving you tips and advice on what I’ve learned.
And I’m gonna be honest, I’m still learning to deal with my fears of failure and… learning to believe in myself again.
When things first took off for my blog, it was easy to think that I had it all together. But when I saw how much further on other bloggers were than me, I knew I had a long way to go. And so I stopped growing.
I didn’t believe in myself to get to the next level.
“What Got You Out of Egypt, Won’t Get You Into the Promised Land.”
I heard this quote back in late 2016 (it’s funny how some pieces of advice and wisdom take a LONG time to really sink in and influence you).
Stunting my growth as a businesswoman (and other parts of my life) didn’t allow me to get to the next chapter in my life. Instead, I prolonged it into a place of unhealthiness.
And right now, it can be easy to get really overwhelmed with where I need to go. I’ve been struggling to choose to believe in myself and have hope.
This last week I had realized that I had gotten comfortable again and wasn’t charging straight towards my goals. I had also put God on the back burner and wasn’t taking my relationship with Him seriously either.
But within the last few days, I’ve started to come with grips with real change. For years, it was easy for me to say, “Oh I’m changing,” or “I’ll change!” And then do nothing about it. But this week was a time where I started to feel more empowered and have hope for my change.
I started making sure I was spending more time with God and having hope in myself. Because without hope, how can one expect to change?
So How Do You Get to the Promised Land? How Do You Get to the Next Level?
Now what you’re fearing or struggling with might not be an online business (or a blog). It might be something you’re dealing with internally, relationship issues, health, weight, career choices, etc.
And I’ve found that the best way to take these fears you have, write them down, and then read them out loud (step 1).
I’ve found that with saying your fears out loud, it gets them out of your head, and helps you hear how ridiculous they are.
For some reason, fears (or ideas in general) sound a lot more legit when they stay within your mind. But when you hear yourself say them outloud, you start to see the places you could poke some holes.
And that’s where step 2 comes in. You start poking holes!
You write down what the reality (the truth) of the matter is. What is literally the worst things that could happen to you if you do pursue this goal?
And I’m not just talking, “kind of pursuing.” I mean real pursuit!
If you’re really pursuing something then… shouldn’t you see success? And even if you don’t see success right away, even if you do fail at times, those failures should lead you to success.
And lastly, in this last week, I realized that as I focused on my past mistakes, it was easy for me to fall back into making them again. I’d get angry and sad and frustrated with myself.
But I really do feel that the other key to getting to the promised land is to find and having hope for yourself. This was something that God had put on my heart: If you don’t believe in yourself, then there would be no reason to carry on.
And by choosing to have hope in myself again, I felt like I had strength and excitement I hadn’t known before. I can’t tell you how good that felt.
So How do Failures Lead You to Success?
“Fail your way to success.”
Once you’re able to face your fears and find the truth(s) that defeat them, you’re on the right track to having success with your goals.
Now it’s time to face failure.
Failures aren’t the end of your path towards your goals, rather, they’re the steps you make to get closer to them.
They’re the parts of your life’s plot that make you grow and get you to the next level.
Failures aren’t barriers that keep you from crossing to the other side. They were never a barrier in the first place.
I’ve found that if I focus on my failures as if they were barrier (so if I had a day or a week where I wasn’t working on the business will all my heart), then my progress in growth will be slowed. But the best thing I can do is to see my failure as something passing. I need to learn and move on from my failure so that I can grow and move towards change.
“In a year from now, you’ll wish you started today.”
This was a quote that I had always told my readers. It was what my husband told me when I first started my blog.
And it’s easy for me to feel ashamed that I hadn’t carried this with me throughout my entire blogging journey. I’ve let it slip.
And right now, I don’t want to let fear have control over my actions or see failures as a barrier to where I want to go anymore.
I want to see where I’ll be in a year, destroy the fears in my life, and take those first steps.
So what are your fears you need to destroy?
And what are your goals for the future? I’d love to hear about them!