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Let me first say that I want you to become a Wonder Woman too. This isn’t just about me.
Now having said that, I’m gonna let you know that I’ve NEVER opened up to anyone about these things, and putting them into words isn’t easy.
But to be honest… I’m really excited!
I know that me challenging my fears and flaws is going to open up a new chapter in my life.
Also, I really like the fact that I get to share them with you and we can open up a discussion about the best ways each of us can make changes in our lives.
I don’t want this to be just about me, I’d really love to help and inspire you too!
So while I’m on this journey of growing and changing different parts of my life, I’d love for you to share with me your thoughts and your own struggles in the comments down below (because hey, dialogue is awesome!).
So What Will The Wonder Woman Section Cover?
1. The things I’m doing to change and grow as a person & business woman.
2. Tips and advice I’ve learned along the way to help you out. (This is about YOU too! 🙂 )
3. Monthly goals (and how I’ll achieve them).
4. Conversation in the comments down below to understand your personal struggles and growth.
And if you have friends and/or family you feel would like or benefit from this, feel free to share!
Alright, so here we go. The beginning of becoming Wonder Woman.
This has probably plagued me my entire life.
I was the baby of the family and seriously spoiled.
I mean I wasn’t a spoiled brat, but I was allowed to slack off on a lot. B’s and C’s were ok. Not striving for excellence in the things I did growing up was fine.
If I could find a shortcut, I would.
I formed a lot of bad habits throughout my childhood and adolescence, and laziness was definitely one of the biggest things.
However, as I’ve been pushing myself to become more of a woman than a girl and form good habits, I’ve seen a lot of progress.
What’s Been Helping
Ok, this one might sound a bit strange for some, but it psychologically works. I have a list of things I go over twice a day (once in the morning and once in the evening). Basically, you’re telling yourself the truth.
Telling yourself that you have the power the strength and the freedom, to work hard and make the right choices is the truth.
At first you might not notice much of a change, but like with anything else, give it a few weeks or a month, and you will see a change in your mindset and actions.
Constantly reminding yourself of what you’re capable of and what you don’t want to be anymore will only reinforce it within your mind and help you make the right choices when something comes up.
After a month of doing these declarations twice a day, I noticed myself stopping and reflecting on the bad habit I was doing and quickly switching to the right thing.
The LAST thing I want to be is my old self and these declarations help remind me of that.
The One Thing
This whole book is literally one big value bomb.
Many entrepreneurs have talked about it and I honestly can’t recommend it enough.
Side Note: I love listening to audiobooks, so I’d highly recommend getting it on Audible. It’s a lot more enjoyable (in my opinion).
Every chapter I keep on finding myself (multiple times) pausing the recording and going, “Ok, wow. That was seriously profound.” In fact, my husband and I are both listening to it together and loving it.
The very basic idea of the book is finding the one thing that you can focus on that will lead you to success. But of course that’s not all the book has to off; it’s seriously packed with a ton of actionable advice left right and center.
So I’d definitely recommend checking it out. It’ll probably change your life (no joke).
I want to start off by saying that if my business was brining in hundreds of thousands of dollars a month and I had the perfect lifestyle, but my marriage wasn’t right… I honestly don’t see how my life could be happy.
Silas (my husband), is my best friend and over the last few years of being married (and even before), I was extremely selfish.
I found that marriage was basically a sin mirror.
I can’t take credit for that analogy, but it sums up how I’ve felt. When you’re single, you don’t know how many problems you have until you get into a relationship where you have to make that person as important as yourself.
And that’s where selfishness comes in.
Growing up, I was raised in a family where my father wasn’t treated right by my mom. She was in control and could be very demeaning to him. It wasn’t a partnership.
And while I despised that growing up (I really hated seeing how she treated him), I saw that coming out in me at times.
I would never demean my husband or lock him out of the room if I was angry. But… I would ignore his advice and I wouldn’t always be taking care of his heart and needs.
And a couple months ago, even though I tried to deny FOR YEARS that I was anything like my mom, I finally came to the realization that I was acting like her.
I wasn’t always treating my husband like we were equals and that he mattered. I was being her… and to be honest, that really sucked admitting that.
Not because of pride, but the idea of being associated with her and being like her was just humiliating and frustrating.
So What’s Working?
I ended up taking time to sit down and pinpoint what and who I was being like.
Finding time to take your problem seriously and pinpoint what’s going on is the beginning of seeing where else it has affected your life.
And once you see all the areas it’s affected, that’s when you can start taking those parts of your life, piece by piece, and create change.
It won’t happen overnight, but over the weeks and months, you’ll start to realize that those good habits have taken over those bad habits you’ve had for years.
I’ve never been a motivated person before, and that really frustrated me.
I’d think, “What’s wrong with me?” Or, “Is there something mentally wrong?” Yep, wasn’t sure if I was having a brain issue or not.
And like I told you guys before, once I was able to get my husband out of his energy-draining corporate job, I felt like I could finally relax.
And that lack of motivation, that lax attitude, didn’t allow my business to grow.
Another thing that fueled my lack of motivation was that I didn’t believe in myself.
I think it’s easy for people to think, well, she’s made it with her blog, of course she knows she can grow it and get to where she wants to go in life. But for the longest time, it felt like those dreams were just, “nice thoughts.”
I wasn’t thinking of them as a reality. My brain would process them as something that sounded great, but wasn’t achievable.
High Definition Dreaming
Our apartment in Bali
This was a term I learned from Dave Ramsey (the financial genius).
He talked about how when he came out with his first book, Financial Peace, he would spend weeks away from his family doing book signings and actually creating a real income for them. And that was really hard, for both him and his wife and kids.But he’d tell them that in 6 weeks, they’d have a vacation to Disney World and be able to spend time together.
Even though things were hard, they found something to look forward to so they could keep going.
When things are really hard (whether it’s financial or another issue), you need to do high-definition dreaming.
So instead of saying, “I’d love to live in a nice house, not an apartment,” start thinking about the details of that house. How do you want that kitchen, that master bedroom, or living room to look (I think Pinterest helps out a lot with this)?
Instead of saying, “I’d love to travel full-time,” start thinking about specific countries and the different festivals you’d like to attend and the foods you’d like to eat.
This will help you to not focus on the now and the hard things you’re going through, the the future and what it could be.
Another term for this could be BHAG. Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal.
I learned about this at the Global Leadership Summit (you should totally go!).
It’s a term that I’ve heard entrepreneurs, people getting out of large debts, and many others say.
So what’s your BHAG?
For those who don’t believe in God, I’m not going to judge you if you pass this one up.
But for me, I do believe that after many months of praying, I have received a change in my heart and mind when it comes to motivation and going after goals.
So if you’re someone who believes in prayer, I’d definitely spend some time with God and pray about this everyday.
I feel that fear has been a controlling factor in my life.
My entire family dealt with it, and of course it was passed onto me.
I was afraid of so much growing up. Things with my health, people that I loved dying, being alone, etc.
If fear could find a place in my life to creep in, it did.
And when I look back at the long train of fears I had in the past, I realized that none of them ever happened.
I was always ok, things always turned out fine, and that fear was just there to make me feel horrible.
So I’m done with it.
The last thing I want to do is carry that on into the future with my marriage, and pass it onto my kids.
Telling Myself the Truth
Like I said before, doing declarations, and telling myself the truth has been a big part of my change.
It also keeps you from changing.
If it can tell you that you’ll never become a better person, you’ll never make it to your goal, you’ll always be facing a specific problem, it can keep you exactly where it wants you. Stuck.
So finding the ways fear has lied to you and speaking the truth over it will help the truth become a louder voice and then you’ll start to see the manifestations of change in your life.
Well… let’s just say that being consistent in weight loss is not one of my strong suits.
I’d do great for a few months (or weeks), lose a few pounds, get some compliments, and then gain it back again because I really love food.
Oh, an affogato? Sounds good! Chocolate croissant, Yes. Fries? Gimme.
I was never overweight, but I always had that little bit of extra weight that never looked quite right.
And I allowed my love for food from keeping me from my goal, which was to be fit.
CHEAT DAY HACKS!
Ok, so I really feel happy about these next 3 tips below for cheat days.
PS – Cheat day is a day in the week where you’re allowed to eat unhealthy and the other 6 days of the week are dedicated to eating healthy.
Intentional Eating on Cheat Day
So many of us know that cheat days are days where you can eat unhealthy food after a week of denying yourself.
But (thanks to my husband), I found that his tip on intentional eating, made cheat day a heck of a lot better.
Basically by the time that day rolled around (Sunday for me), I’d be craving probably 10 things.
But when I started eating that first thing (which was a pain au chocolate and a raf – a yummy Russian coffee drink, see photo above), I’d eat slowly and start focusing on the different textures and tastes I was experiencing. The flakiness, creaminess, dark chocolate, the warmth, etc.
I was actually able to enjoy it more, and I found that I didn’t crave all the other things as much (or at all) and ended up eating less on my cheat day.
And my husband had a great point; I won’t get to eat these things for another 7 days, so why not make them last longer and enjoy them?
Two-Day Cheat Days for Maintaining
This was a tip I heard from Tim Ferris (the author of The Four-Hour Work Week)
When you do get to a desired weight, instead of doing a one day cheat day where you go crazy and eat everything you want, spread it out over two days so you’re not going overboard.
You don’t feel as deprived and you end up having more self control instead of stuffing everything in your face.
Workout on Cheat Day
The first thing you should do on cheat day is workout. First to get it out of the way, but also so it can set your eating pace for the rest of the day.
Here’s what I mean: I found that after working out and getting all sweaty and feeling kind of miserable (side note: after a month of working out, it’s not so bad anymore. Yay!), you start thinking to yourself, “Wow, I just did a ton of work for my body and it hurts… why would I want to hurt and slow down my progress by eating more than I need? Doesn’t that just mean I’ll have to do more of this exhausting exercise?”
Trust me guys, it works!
Goals for this Month
So every month, I’ll be setting goals for myself and change. And this is going to help me stay on track and have accountability since you will be apart of this.
(Also, I’m going to make sure to be honest with you about whether I followed through on them or not)
Side note: feel free to tell me your goals down below too! I’d love to hear them! Let’s do this together!
Becoming a Better Listener
Remember how I mentioned that I had developed a lot of bad habits growing up?
Yeah, this is a big one.
My entire family had this problem. Nobody cared about what the others were saying, they just wanted to say what they had on their minds. It was ridiculous.
My oldest sister’s husband had noticed that (when he visited for a holiday), 6 people were talking around the dinner table, and no one was listening.
And this month, I’d really like to make it a point to make big progress as a better listener.
How I Will Do This:
- Make sure to do active listening. If my husband talks about something that’s on his heart or that he learned, repeat it back to him in the way I understood it.
- If I find that I got distracted, ask him to clarify what he said so I’m being more aware of the times I don’t listen.
Not Getting Distracted & Setting a Time for the Smaller Things
Even if I have a super productive day, I find myself getting distracted with less important tasks.
And some of it reminds me of what I read in The Four-Hour Work Week. The idea of that book is to cut out what’s unnecessary (or minimize it) so that you can actually work on what’s important.
So for this month, I’d really like to set apart a morning on one of the days of the week to just focus on the things that are important, but aren’t “this is going to get me to my big goal” important.
How I Will Do This:
- Make a list of tasks that aren’t “big goal” important.
- Make Friday mornings my time for “doo dads” (A term I learned from the makers of The Art of Manliness). Basically meaning tasks that need to be done but are smaller than the bigger projects.
The One Thing
Silas and I have discussed our one thing for the business, which is to increase traffic for even more exposure, and by the end of this month, I hope to see major results.
I’ve already been seeing the fruits of focusing on traffic for the last few weeks, so I’m excited to see where this goes.
How I Will Do This:
- Every day, make time for the one thing. Even if it’s on an off day, there’s something small I can do to get closer to my goal.
In this month, I plan on getting to the point where when fear pops up, I can instantaneously recognize it and say the truth.
Plain and simple, I want to make this apart of my thought process.
How I Will Do This:
- As soon as a thought pops up in my head that’s fear based, I will take control of that thought and put the truth in its place.
Getting Down to 130 Pounds
Right now I’m 140 pounds exactly, and by the end of this month, I’d like to get down to 130.
I know it’s just 10 pounds, but if I lose more than 10, I’d like to be pleasantly surprised.
Also, now that I’m actually working out (and not just eating healthier and less calories like how I have in the past), I’ll actually get to see more toned definition in my body (it really is cool to see the results!)
How I Will Do This:
- I’ll make sure that I’m drinking water consistently everyday (a gallon or almost a gallon).
- Make sure to eat at home and cook nutritious meals.
- Not give myself “little” cheats on non-cheat days.
- Not miss a gym day (I go 4 days a week and workout for around an hour to an hour and a half).
- And not go overboard with cheat days (find one thing that I can enjoy for that day).
A Quick Thank You & a Question
I really do want to thank you for reading through this and being apart of this journey that I’m on.
And I want to be able to help you out on your too, so tell me, what are your goals for this month (big or small)?